The director at Brady's daycare center called me into the office this morning when I dropped him off. Apparently his biting has escalated (breaking skin) and he may be kicked out. Yay. I know the biting has increased recently, but I had no idea the bites were so severe. Seems one of the parents has called the licensing board, so the county is coming out to see what is happening. This is a new director and she is much stricter than the last (likely why there is a new director). Until now, no one has told me that 1) he's biting harder, and 2) he could be kicked out. In fact, I've been told he isn't really hurting anyone and that it was no big deal, just typical toddler behavior. He is biting when fighting over toys or when someone gets in his way on the playground. Also seems to bite more when over-stimulated and/or tired.
So, the director wants to move him into the two-year-old room starting today. She said that in her experience, biting can sometimes come with boredom. We're going to try it, but I think he bites more when over-stimulated, so lets throw him with with larger group of kids that are running, jumping, yelling, and months to a year older than he is, all day long! Yeah, that's going to help. To add to the fun, my job ends tomorrow and we are going to have to go to part time for as long as I can afford it. Maybe it is best to have all these changes happen at once, but I fear the biting will get worse before it gets better, which will likely mean he gets expelled. He's in the cheapest daycare center in the area right now, so there really is no where else to go after this unless I look for home-based daycare, which is not my preference.
Frustrated, upset, and worried.
This is the story of my journey to adopt a child from Kazakhstan.
Welcome!
Welcome to my journey to Motherhood! I appreciate your interest and am thrilled to share this exciting and terrifying adventure with my family and friends.
-- Alysa
Little Precious
Fur Babies
Callie and Merlin
Aqtobe Time
Aktobe |
Aqtobe Weather
Polling Place
Timeline
- October 26, 2008, 4:38pm MDT -- Newest US Citizen
- October 26, 2008 -- Homeward Bound
- October 12, 2008 -- Left Aqtobe for Almaty
- October 7, 2008 -- We are family! (Gotcha Day)
- October 3, 2008-- Return to Kaz - Trip 3
- October 1, 2008 -- Adoption Decree signed by judge - You're mine!
- September 15, 2008 -- Kaz Court
- September 9, 2008 -- Return to Kaz - Trip 2
- August 9, 2008 - End of Trip 1
- July 22, 2008 -- I found you!
- July 19, 2008 -- On da plane to Kaz
- July 10, 2008 -- Letter of Invitation Received
- February 1, 2008 -- Dossier sent to Aqtobe MOE
- November 9, 2007 -- Aqtobe is my region!
- November 5, 2007 -- Dossier to Ministry of Foreign Affairs
- October 10, 2007 -- Dossier to Kaz Consulate in NY
- October 5 -- Dossier in translation
- October 2, 2007 -- Dossier FedEx'd to LMI!!!
- August 21, 2007 -- I171H (approval from US immigration) received!
- August 9, 2007 -- Homestudy submitted to USCIS.
- June 15, 2007 -- Homestudy completed again! Sent to USCIS -- Not!
- May 31, 2007 -- Homestudy completed. Not!
- March 2007 -- Signed agency contracts
- January-March 2007 -- Researched agencies, countries, etc.
- March - November 2006 -- decided to move out of CA, found and started new job, sold CA house, bought CO house, and moved!
- February 2006 -- Realized I needed a fresh start, whether or not I adopted
- October 2005 -- Started researching adoption
Favorite Adoption Blogs
Links to More Info
Kazakhstan
A Bit About Kaz
Kazakhstan is the largest of the former Soviet republics in size (after Russia) and is the ninth-largest nation in the world. It shares a border with Russia on the north and is west of China. Kazakhstan gained its independence from Russia in 1991, and although traditionally a nomadic and pastoral society, the current way of life and culture reflect strong Russian influences. Kazakhstan has a population of over 15 million people comprised of 46% Kazakhs, 35% Russians, 5% Ukrainians, 3% Germans, and the remaining 11% a mix of other European and Asian ethnicities. While Kazakh is the "state" language, nearly everyone is bilingual in Kazakh and Russian.
About Me
Yep, I'm 40-something and going to be a single first-time parent!
And yes, many nights (days, nights, and more sleepless nights) I think I may have just lost my mind! But, I'm also excited and am looking forward to all the challenges, thrills, sweet little moments, panic, hope, messes, joys, and mostly love that will be an everyday part of my life.
I've changed my life pretty dramatically in the past year (new job, new state, new house, new life!) in part because I wanted a fresh start, but also because doing so allowed me financially and emotionally to pursue adoption.
Most of you know that my mother had me at nearly 40 and raised me alone. And this was back when being a single mom, and especially an older single mom, was not a very acceptable thing to do. I'm sad that Mom will never know her grandchild, but I know she would be thrilled that I am doing this. From her I have learned independence, tenacity, resourcefulness, and that family is not defined by numbers or what society thinks it should be, but by love and support. Thank you, Mom, for setting the example that has given me the courage to follow, in my own way, in your footsteps.
6 comments:
Oh man Alysa, I am so bummed for all the things you are going through and dealing with right now. I don't have any words of wisdom or advice other than you are clearly one strong woman! Just know I'm thinking of you and praying for you.
So sorry that you are losing your job and have daycare to worry about on top of it. I guess if there is a silver lining, then it would be more time to spend guiding your little piranha. Remember, we had one too for about 3-4 mos. At first I wasn't too concerned but for awhile there we had 2-3 incidents per DAY. So I was starting to get more and more concerned. You may want to get with the teachers and figure out what is triggering it and how to avoid it. For Miras, 90% of the incidents happened in the hour before lunch and naptime when he was most irritable. So during that hour or so, the teachers went out of their way to make sure that Miras was busy 'helping' them and kept an extra close eye on him. The other reason was that Miras didn't have the words to use to communicate what he wanted. So I tried to teach him at home and in the car to say "stop!" or "no!" or other appropriate words when someone is bugging him. And asked the teachers to do the same. Finally, the teachers at our daycare would only tell him to 'be gentle' and 'teeth are not for biting.' I asked them to be more forceful with him and let him know very seriously that biting is unacceptable behavior. And I reinforced this at home. These seem to have worked as he is no longer the biter and hasn't bitten anyone in a long time.
Perhaps you can meet with the teachers and director to map out an action plan. And keep in mind that typically they grow out of it.
All the best with the job search- I'll be hoping for a speedy solution. (Or maybe not too speedy, this way you can relive the Kaz days and spend more time bonding...). oh, and happy belated anniversary!
Hey Alysa..I hope that this has gotten better for Brady and you! I know it's so stressful! when does Brady turn 2? At 2, their vocab increases a ton (it feels like overnight they learn so much) and he will be able to express himself more. Leeza is big into throwing things and hitting when she gets mad. "this too shall pass"
Hugs!
hi, I have just a minute but wanted to share empathy with you. The frequency of Griffin's biting did in fact lessen when he was moved to a classroom with more space and things to do. He still bites when he's tired or stressed. Hang in there. Sending you good wishes for good luck. Susan
ok, it's time for a post!! Are you okay? How's Brady?
Hi friend! Just checking in and wondering how things are going now. How is Brady doing in the other class? Milo's biting has subsided almost entirely, but when he's mad at one of us he still goes for it. I don't know that he's ever bitten another child, but he will hit or push when he gets mad. Heathens, these pre-schoolers! Thinking of you often and hoping we can talk soon!
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